Posts tagged relationship

Why does it still hurt sometimes? I am happy. I really am. But sometimes something will come up and it will take me to the past. It will take me to a time with a different happiness and it will hurt all over again. Sometimes I can think about the past and remember the good times and then be thankful that I had them and move on. But right now? Right now it only hurts. I know it does not hurt like it did just a few months ago but I want to go away and not come back.

That last sentence sounded childish. Maybe this pain is a good thing. Maybe it will help shape where I am going now.

All I know for sure is that I am with someone who is incredible and who is good for me. I just want to make her happy and she makes me happy.

Sometimes I wonder if I worry too little about my own happiness. Sometimes I think I sacrifice too much. But that sacrifice makes me happy. That sounds insane but giving myself up for others is an amazing thing to me and makes me feel good.

Really, I just have to go. I need to press on and go. No more doubting. I have been telling myself to go boldly and I have been doing it. Now is no time to stop. Press on. Go on. Take this as far as it will go and see where that is. And, most importantly, be happy doing it. Cause if we cannot find happiness in what we do, why are we doing it?

The past may hurt, at times, and the future may seem too far away, but, that is okay cause I live in the here and the now. And you know what? The here and the now is one of the greatest places that I have ever been.

I swore that i would make 2011 a better year than 2010. I mostly said that symbolically since I thought that it could not get any worse. Little did I know that things would turn around so quickly.

I have a new car that runs well and looks good. I am paying most of it off with a tax return and taking care of it for next to nothing.

I am signing up with a temp agency so I can have some income even if it wont be steady it will be something that puts money in my pocket.

I have also found a gorgeous woman with whom to spend my time. She is pretty, has a great sense of humor, she is very intelligent, and, well the list goes on but you get the idea. The great thing is that she loves spontaneity. This is going to be fun!

So let us look at the score bored:

[ ]Get back into School
[~]Re-join the work force (almost there)
[X]Get a Car again
[X]Find love again

I had another down day a while back and I am not sure what triggered it. The good thing about it is that it was not that bad. My good days used to be like this down day.

I just seem to be missing the intimate nature of the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. There are somethings that you just cannot share with “the guys.” There is also the touch of another human being. The ability to just hug some one or to just be hugged. That is something that has been lacking and I would like it back.

I know that none of this would happen over night even if I met some one today, but the journey to that level of relationship is what makes it nice. But, as long as I have to wait for that kind of relationship, I might as well wait on one that means something rather that just jump into something. (Though that does sound tempting to me some times)

Now, it is time to jest let the good times roll and let life come as it will. That is all I can do right now and I will do my best to remember that.