Why does it still hurt sometimes? I am happy. I really am. But sometimes something will come up and it will take me to the past. It will take me to a time with a different happiness and it will hurt all over again. Sometimes I can think about the past and remember the good times and then be thankful that I had them and move on. But right now? Right now it only hurts. I know it does not hurt like it did just a few months ago but I want to go away and not come back.

That last sentence sounded childish. Maybe this pain is a good thing. Maybe it will help shape where I am going now.

All I know for sure is that I am with someone who is incredible and who is good for me. I just want to make her happy and she makes me happy.

Sometimes I wonder if I worry too little about my own happiness. Sometimes I think I sacrifice too much. But that sacrifice makes me happy. That sounds insane but giving myself up for others is an amazing thing to me and makes me feel good.

Really, I just have to go. I need to press on and go. No more doubting. I have been telling myself to go boldly and I have been doing it. Now is no time to stop. Press on. Go on. Take this as far as it will go and see where that is. And, most importantly, be happy doing it. Cause if we cannot find happiness in what we do, why are we doing it?

The past may hurt, at times, and the future may seem too far away, but, that is okay cause I live in the here and the now. And you know what? The here and the now is one of the greatest places that I have ever been.

These hate mongers are in the news once again. This time it is because they are being attacked. 

At first glance it looked like the so called “hacktivist” group known as Anonymous had sent them an ultimatum about their hate speech. WBC quickly came back with a response that included the claim that the Internet was invented just for the purpose for spreading their beliefs. 

Anonymous quickly came back with a statement claiming that they, even though they do hate the what the WBC has to say, would not block free speech. There are facts to back this up, including the fact all security on their site was down for the 3 days following the original claim. To be fair, though, Anonymous can only be so organized by its very nature so a splinter of Anon could have acted in this case.

I recently watched an interview from a radio show that had an interview with a member of WBC and Anon. The member of Anon accused WBC of faking the original claim against them for more publicity. The WBC member, in true fashion, refused to listen and claimed that everyone was against them.

This prompted the Anon member to hack their site at that moment. The site is now down due to the amount of traffic it received after this incident. 

Really, I do not support either group. WBC makes all humanity look bad, not just Christianity. They only hate and know nothing of real Love. Anonymous is a self-righteous group of people who think that by pulling off simple hacks on other people’s websites and computers that they will change the world.

In this case all that has happened, in the end, is that WBC got even more publicity. Be this something that originated from them to get that attention or an actual incident originating from Anon, all that happened was that these poor, misguided people, got even more attention for their hatred. 

We just need to ignore both groups so that they will just disappear.

Here is the Video

I have carried a smart phone for a while now. I started with the humble Blackjack II by Samsung running Windows Mobile 6 (and later 6.1.) Then I moved to the Aria by HTC running Android 2.1. That was very brief because less than a month into my ownership of said phone the marvelous Galaxy S, also by Samsung, got released. I, being on AT&T, received the Captivate on launch day. It was running Android 2.1 and it was amazing.

The phone did have its faults, though. The Galaxy S line in the US seemed to be a but rushed so the GPS was lacking. I found several workarounds for that and got it working. Samsung also had a lot of problems getting 2.2 out. (From what I can tell this was both due to a perfectionist nature after the GPS problems and bad deals with the Networks) I found a leaked ROM for 2.2 and now it runs great. That and a long with a little side loading* and I have a fantastic phone that does everything that I want it too.

Now that you know where I stand in the Smart Phone arena let me get to my point. The more advanced smart phones get, the less need I have for a phone. With the amount of data that I can pull without even typing a single word I never need to call someone for some kind of information. I have the Internet at my fingertips. I do not need to call to have food delivered; there is, inevitably, an app for that.

With the integration of Google’s ever expanding list of tools my phone replaces some of my laptop needs. I keep a list of recipes in my drop box and I can open them in an office suite on my phone. I can look up information for games I play. (that being both table top and computer) I have even written in this blog from it. If I get lost, no need to call for directions, there is GPS for that.

So the smarter my phone gets, the less I need a phone. Also, the smarter my phone gets, the less smart I need to be. That is almost scary, isn’t it?

It always amazes me. In the winter in this state, when even the slightest bit of snow is predicted, the crazies go shopping. They do not just shop, though. They want to buy everything they might need for the coming Apocalypse. I understand that people plan on being snowed in and will need food in that amount of time, but do these people not already have food?

Let me explain. I went shopping after the last storm and there were literally no eggs left to be had in the store. Milk and bread were sparse at best. The only thing that I could imagine that would cause a phenomenon like this is that these people shop for what they need on a day to day basis. I usually shop for what I need for a week to two weeks in advance. Given that we live south of the Mason-Dixon line, there is no way that I would be snowed in for that long.

So this begs the question: What do these other people do once the snow is over and they have a pile of eggs and milk and bread?

It just confuses me how worked up people get over the snow. Yes, you might be stuck inside for a few days. It is not that big of a deal. You do not need to stock up like it is the Rapture. I can guarantee that the sun will come out tomorrow and things will be okay. With or without 5 dozen eggs and 6 gallons of milk.

In my last post I mentioned I was waiting for the speed bump in the road. Well, I hit it; it just turned out to be a large SUV stopped on the highway. It more than totaled the car that I had just bought.

It was an unavoidable accident. I did the best I could to not hit them but a combination of braking and turning and downshifting did nothing. When I came over the hill there was another vehicle stopped 35 feet in front of me.

I have heard many people say that accidents happen in slow motion. I am not going to call them liars, but I can guarantee that it did not happen to me. It was all over so amazingly fast. I remember thinking “This is going to suck” right before we hit.

Yeah, I said we. My girlfriend was in the car with me and she was rushed to the hospital. This was my first time in an ambulance and the entire time I was wishing I was in the back and not the front. I was so wanting to trade places with her.

She ended up being okay for the most part. She was a little cut up and bruised. Considering that it was a 65mph impact that is amazing. Even more amazing of a feat is that I am not even bruised. I am not even sore. I have no idea who I walked out of things like that. I wish she was uninjured but that is not the case. I still feel guilty even though I know that it was unavoidable.

Things get worse. When I bought this car I was told that it was still under full coverage for insurance. I was told this many times. This was not the case. It was liability. Now the insurance company is fighting me and trying there best not to pay out. My phone has been ringing off the hook (as if phones still have hooks, but the phrase still stands) and I have been going insane fighting with these people.

LET THE LEGAL BATTLES BEGIN!